Politically Correct Jokes

The Find - Be the glitch you want to see in the system

The 12-member Vegetable Orchestra makes complicated compositions with various seasonal vegetables. Christina Bauer, Juergen Berlakovich, Nikolaus Gansterer, Susanna Gartmayer, Barbara Kaiser, Matthias Meinharter, Jörg Piringer, Richard Repey, Marie Steinauer, Ingrid Schlögl, Ulrich Troyer and Tamara Wilhelm carve out all their instruments from fresh vegetables indigenous to the area about an hour before each performance. Each show requires about 70kg of fresh vegetables and highly sensitive mics are used to pick up the unique sounds of each instrument. Although the musical pieces are intended for live performance, The Vegetable Orchestra has recently released its third album, ONIONOISE. I think it’s safe to say that the enterprise isn’t just some fly-by-night experiment. Check out the making-of video on YouTube – search for The Vegetable Orchestra recording the album ONIONOISE, which starts off with what looks like a bunch of people cutting a huge salad. Most of the music sounds a lot like experimental electronica – already kind of a niche genre. The ensemble describes its own music as ranging from rhythmic house tracks to dub and glitch pieces. Dubstep with a pumpkin drum? What choice would there be for this group to be anything but indie? What label could possibly be interested in bankrolling something so insanely specialised? The orchestra not only composes its own pieces, it does covers of various krautrock greats too, such as songs by Kraftwerk, GmbH and Radian. You can listen to Gemüseorchester’s tracks here: www.vegetableorchestra.org/sound.php. Now, I’m a real electronica freak, so it’s rather exciting that the orchestra has created a new and rare subgenre.

Blue Collar TV basketball news

Article by hi joiney

Recurring sketches “Bad Jobs for Take Your Daughter to Work Day:” This sketch features Foxworthy, Engvall, or Larry the Cable Guy at a job with their “daughter” tagging along. Their job is always something that would make Take-Your-Daughter-To-Work-Day awkward, such as NASCAR driver or Newscaster. “Big Kids:” Foxworthy, Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy play Ronnie, Blake, and Dooley, three toddlers who constantly misbehave and annoy their parents, usually from the back seat of their car. “Bill The Bad Storyteller:” Bill Engvall tries to tell a story to his friends, but he’s unable to tell it very well. In most cases, the story starts off interesting or creepy, but the conclusion is very plain and boring. “Dan Grogan:” Grogan (Foxworthy) is the spokesman and owner of Dan Grogan’s House of Gravy and Gravy Spa. Grogan’s company also makes and sells Pre-chewed Food and Ranch Cleanser. Grogan’s restaurants and spas are well known for their “Gravy Bombs” (balloons filled with brown gravy) and appearances by “Seargant Gravy(Engvall) & Davey the Gravy Dog”. “Dinner With…:” After a short skit featuring a character saying who he wouldn’t want to be invited over for dinner, the scenario is shown featuring a typical family, with that very person over for dinner. The dinner guests have included Hank Williams Jr., Joe Rogan, and Jeff Jarrett. “Fat Family:” Engvall, Brooke Dillman, and Ayda Field play a family of morbidly obese people, though they are proud of their physical state and don’t like skinny people or the thought of losing weight. Their appearances usually revolve around normal sitcom happenings, though modified to suit their happiness of their weight. “Martha Stewart’s Tips from the Inside:” Martha Stewart (Dillman) gives household hints from jail, each hint inspired by her prison experiences. “The Martin Bros.:” Casey, Jack, and Dale Martin (Foxworthy, Engvall, and Larry the Cable Guy), are three unruly brothers who drink all the time, play jokes on people, and never take anything seriously. They were first seen hosting the show “Hick Eye For The Queer Guy”, and later opened a party planning company. “On the Red Carpet with Dee & Engle Barry:” Dee & Engle (Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy) interview big names in country music at the Country Music Awards red carpet pre show. “Politically Correct Fairy Tales:” Larry the Cable Guy reads fairy tales that are now politically correct from his niece’s fairy tale book (Snow Caucasian and the Seven Handy Capable Little Persons, for example) to the children. He isn’t impressed with the stories in their new state, and usually stops before the story is finished, (except The Tortoise and the Hare in the Non-Competitive Fun Run), to explain “how it really ends”, which usually involves him going into the story, and abruptly ending it (For example, in “Vertically-Challenged Native American Riding hood” He ends the story by saying “I go in there, I shoot the wolf, send grandma to an old folks home, get Little Red Riding Hood out of that hood, and shack up and eat wolf steaks.”) “Redneck Dictionary:” On each episode, an entry in “The Redneck Dictionary” is shown, where cast members take common words and morph them into perceived redneck speech. An example would be “Artichoke” (I “artichoke” the feller who told me to order this). Only recurring sketch used in every episode. “Redneck Yard of the Week:” Each week, Foxworthy and Ayda Field present a Redneck Yard Of The Week, as submitted by home viewers to http://www.redneckyard.com. The presentation is done like an awards ceremony, with Foxworthy providing commentary on the winning yard after the yard is shown. “Rescue 911!:” A parody of the TV show of the same name, hosted by Jim Farnsworth (Foxworthy). Each episode inexplicably revolves around the Parker family, after Tom (Oldring) gets devastating injuries caused inadvertently by his grandma, followed by the dad (Larry) calling 911, and the EMT’s arriving, where Jim Mayweather (Williams) suffers similar injuries, and Don Clinton (Engvall) saves the day. “Tell Me That Don’t Stink:” Here, Foxworthy has the female cast members (Heath and an audience member also played once each) smell a substance that doesn’t smell very pleasant at all. Smelled items include doe-in-heat urine and valerian root. “The Deck:” four friends sit on a deck and tell deck stories.The first with comic/actor Drew Carey. Innuendo jokes that play off the slang word “dick”. “The Tacketts:” A dysfunctional redneck family, in a sitcom-like environment. Each episode involves a conflict, usually involving the bickering father and mother (Jeff and Brooke), though each episode ends happily. Also features Larry, Bill, and Ashley as the other members of the family. “CSI:” based on the TV show CSI, it talks about crimes that take place, for example the Greensbourogh Tri-County Area, finds evidence of the crime and finds the criminal. “The What Burns Me Booth:” This is a sort of testimonial booth where various people say what burns them up. “White Trash Days Of Our Lives:” A spoof of Days of our Lives, which Ayda Field costars in. Follows the formula of a soap opera except with redneck characters. “Who’s the Fool:” A game show featuring two contestants listening to humorous stories from Engvall, Foxworthy, and Larry the Cable Guy, then deciding whether or not the story is true. Though not technically a recurring sketch, many episodes feature a parody of a TV show or movie, only featuring Larry the Cable Guy as the star. Such examples have included “The Real Bachelor” (a parody of The Bachelor), “Larry the Spider Guy” (a parody of Spider-Man), and “Handicops” (a parody of COPS). Guest appearances Blue Collar TV had many guest stars during its short run. Sometimes, it was a musical guest that performs at the end of the episode. In most cases, the musical guest also takes part in at least one sketch. Guests have included: Abyss Trace Adkins Big & Rich Clint Black Jeremy Borash Brooks & Dunn Drew Carey Deana Carter Ronny Cox Diana DeGarmo Jeff Dunham and Walter Fredi Gonzalez, third base coach for the Atlanta Braves Jeff Jarrett Christopher Knight Adam LaRoche, first baseman for the Atlanta Braves Rascal Flatts Montgomery Gentry Lonestar Sterling Marlin David Lee Murphy Terry Pendleton, hitting coach for the Atlanta Braves Billy Redden LeAnn Rimes Brad Pitt Trick Pony Mark Richt, head coach of the University of Georgia Bulldogs football team John Smoltz, pitcher for the Atlanta Braves A.J. Styles Leon White Michael Waltrip The Warren Brothers Jimmy Wayne Don West Ron White Georgia GymDogs, the University of Georgia’s NCAA champion gymnastics team. Cast members Note: Due to the show’s relatively short life, no cast members were added or removed during the show’s run. Jeff Foxworthy Larry the Cable Guy Bill Engvall Brooke Dillman Ashley Drane Ayda Field Heath Hyche Peter Oldring Gary Anthony Williams Scott Miller and the Commonwealth – house band DVD releases Season releases DVD name Ep # Release date Additional information Season 1 Volume 1 13 November 8, 2005 Boyz in the Woods: A behind-the-scenes look at season 1, Live Comedy No Second Chances, Hatfield-McCoy Redneck Dictionary. Season 1 Volume 2 18 February 7, 2006 Bonus skits, A collection of bloopers and outtakes called “Let’s Do That One Again”. The Complete 2nd Season 13 August 1, 2006 Bonus Skits and Bloopers. External links Blue Collar TV at the Internet Movie Database Blue Collar Comedy The Tour The Movie Rides Again One for the Road The Television Show The Comedians Jeff Foxworthy Larry the Cable Guy Bill Engvall Ron White Reno Collier Juston McKinney Jamie Kaler John Caparulo Categories: Comedy Central shows | WB network shows | 2004 American television series debuts | 2006 American television series endings | 2000s American television series | American sketch comedy television shows | Television series by Warner Bros.

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